A Group Counselor tells how
Do Tell creates a supportive environment
As a group counselor, I appreciate this game because it is a useful and intelligent therapeutic tool.
It allows the players to open up in a safe and supportive environment and discover in themselves and each other aspects of their aliveness otherwise hidden in shame or shyness.
Cards can be sorted out for specific groups and provide a more theme-targeted approach. I really think it is a valuable addition for explorative or healing purposes. submitted by Françoise Bourzat, M.A.
Words from a client who has
played Do Tell as suggested by his Therapist
How has playing 'Do Tell' impacted me? Probably the biggest impact has been that I have become more comfortable with revealing things about myself. Before playing with the other couples, I was very anxious and concerned about how I was going to do. After playing with them, hearing their responses and seeing them perform, it made it much easier for me.
I realized that we're all different and there is no right answer or action. The other thing I realized is playing 'Do Tell' created an environment that allowed me to connect with everyone, because of what they revealed about themselves and what I revealed about myself. Playing it is also fun. Others can laugh about what I do or say, and I can laugh about what others do and say. My wife and I have used the cards to initiate conversations, which is a very good way to know her better, and to connect.
After responding to the question on a card, we've gotten into longer conversations about the subject, and I sometimes learn that her view is not what I thought, or her view has influenced my view. submitted by Marvin J., SF
Self-Discovery by playing Do Tell
Playing Do Tell turns personal growth into a fun filled game. Seriously! It provides, like all good therapy, a space for self-discovery where risk and self-revelation can be easily modulated as the player builds trust and self-acceptance. Consider suggesting it to your clients, or playing it yourself! submitted by Jack Gallant RN-C
Using Do Tell for Couples Counseling
Initially I wanted to use Do Tell as a game to help couples communicate on deeper levels and have fun while doing so. As I played it with my husband, and then with friends and family, I realized that I loved it myself. It teaches communication without excessive struggle and difficulty and helps people, including myself, remember that connecting with others is a creative and truly satisfying journey.
Couples often come to me with "poor communication" as a key complaint. I realize this often means people have lost touch with how to allow communication and connection to self and others and therefore, to relax into a natural state of satisfying intimacy. It does not have to be drudgery to develop good intimacy and connection. I love the Do and Risk cards for the fun and edge play.
This game touches
on many different aspects of connection and intimacy. My husband and I
now play it at small gatherings. My couple clients that have played this
game have grown closer together just when it looked like there was no way
they could see eye to eye. It is amazing how easy it can be to lighten
the process of communication. Thank you for this beautiful and fun creative
tool for connecting to myself, others and especially for my clients. This
is really a great game.
submitted by Rebecca Connor-Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Deeper communication for Couples Counseling
The part of Do Tell I find the most helpful is the way the questions are structured. Each question has more than one layer to it and they are meant to elicit answers from a deeper level. I use various questions from the game for different situations during couple’s therapy. Even though couples come in with issues that they plan to work on, I observe various amounts of fear of exposure by each partner. There are also many situations in which one or both partner will shut down and find it difficult to bring an issue into the room.
The questions are structured enough so as to add
the needed safety with an actual process. This provides each with an opportunity
to volunteer information that may have been stonewalled to this point.
Even if one partner chooses not to answer a question, this in itself is
valuable material to work with. Before sessions I have the option to choose
questions from a large selection that would fit the situation at hand,
I have one partner shuffle the particular cards and they agree to take
turns asking the other.
Another benefit is that it opens up and creates the needed atmosphere to start
a dialogue that in many cases is desperately needed for connection.
The questions and what happens afterwards helps clients engaged and participate
in their therapy. I feel Do Tell is an important tool for any therapist, especially
those working with couples.
I present it as insightful and an aid to reaching things just out of awareness.
Anyone with some curiosity is more than agreeable to exploring what they have
trouble talking about. Since there are so many couples that are stuck or stonewalling
during sessions, this helps to move the process forward.
submitted by Dan Connor-Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist